A Bit About Bhikkhunis

Up to the present, I’ve lived in the same world as most people. We all do essentially the same things in the same way, with only minor variations. When we haven’t been in a period of lay-off, we get up and spend most of our waking hours 5 days per week getting-to, being-at and coming-home-from work. We ride in elevators and drive cars. We decide what, and when, we would like to eat.

We all have our favorite TV shows (which we can get into engaged conversation with each other about), we all shop at Trader Joe’s (at least on occasion), we all go to restaurants and the movies, we all have a cell phone. We spend leisure time “hanging out” with partners and friends.

Those with children (I had some for a while) have homework and soccer and play dates and teacher conferences and the dilemma of what to do on the days when school is closed, again. 

Sound familiar?

For this self this is about to change… 

  

This new life will bring me into contact with worlds very different from the one I have been inhabiting for the past 48 years. <big smile here in this moment>

One of the different worlds that has already intersected mine is the world of the Aloka Vihara and Aranya Bodhi Bhikkhunis.

Admittedly I know very little about Bhikkhunis, but I’m learning, and thought to share a bit here since I hope to have the good fortune of/have plans to be a steward for both of these communities while on the journey.

What I do know is that theirs is a very different way of life. A way of faith and devotion where service to others takes top priority. A world where their survival LITERALLY depends on dana (the generosity of others).

As I understand it, a main duty for the steward at Aloka Vihara is offering the meals (only 2 per day; nothing but water or some juice past noon) to the Bhikkhunis.

They can NOT eat if a lay person does not put the food into their hands. If the food is not offered to them.

And what is the food? How did they get it?

The only food available is whatever has been provided by the generosity (dana) of the lay community which supports the monastery.

Think about ceding control over the basic sustenance of your existence to other people. Monastics are only permitted to possess food, clothing (sparse), shelter and medicine. ALL of this is provided through dana.

What qualities does it take for one to live this way? What level of faith? What level of commitment and dedication? This is a profound way of living. Truly radical to many. I offer the utmost respect to those who make this commitment.

As I understand it, the Buddha envisioned the complete expression of community as a “fourfold Sangha” comprised of monastics - Bhikkhus (male monks) and Bhikkhunis (female nuns) and the laity - lay women and lay men. All four components are necessary for a society to blossom into its full potential.

The code, the rules by which the monastics live is the Vinaya; according to accesstoinsight.org:

“The Vinaya Pitaka… is the textual framework upon which the monastic community (Sangha) is built. It includes not only the rules governing the life of every Theravada bhikkhu (monk) and bhikkhuni (nun), but also a host of procedures and conventions of etiquette that support harmonious relations, both among the monastics themselves, and between the monastics and their lay supporters, upon whom they depend for all their material needs.”

Although the Bhikkhuni Sangha was created by the Buddha it had died out in certain countries and traditions over the millenia and is currently undergoing a strong resurgence.

To be properly ordained, a nun must be ordained first by a quorum of nuns and then a second time by a quorum of monks. In Theravada areas/countries the nun’s lineage died out around the turn of the first millennium and traditionalists do not believe that it can or should be revived because there are no Theravada nuns to ordain new nuns. However, the nuns’ lineage continues in most Mahayana countries like Taiwan and Korea. It is the unbroken Mahayana lineage being used to revive the Bhikkhuni Sangha in the present time.

Lama Choedak Rinpoche, the convener of the very controversial 2009 Bhikkhuni ordination in Australia, said:

“The controversy surrounding female ordination is not a problem restricted only to Christianity. Even though ordination of women in Buddhism occurred during the life of the Buddha, his initial reluctance to ordain women seems to have been misinterpreted by many people. This misinterpretation has left a legacy of doubt and indecision among the orthodox Buddhist leaders. Some Buddhist countries did not even introduce the Bhikhuni ordination while others who did could not sustain the lineage for long. The Bhikhuni ordination was never introduced to Tibet even though there are hundreds of nunneries there. Theravadin tradition lost the lineage that they once had and initiatives to revive the tradition in Thailand have faced stiff opposition from the mainstream Buddhist leadership.”

I am aware of only a handful of Bhikkhuni ordinations which have occurred in the west. October 17, 2011 at Spirit Rock saw the ordination of 3 new Bhikkhunis (the 2 creating Aloka Vihara + 1 from a monastery in Canada).

Here is a link to a slideshow of the ordination:

Bhikkhuni Ordination - October 17, 2011

I spent the day before and the day of the ordination at Spirit Rock; helping to set up the hall, preparing flowers, being of use in general where I could, and attending the ordination itself.

What is apparent is how incredibly important it is, to these 3 women specifically and to the other Bhikkhunis I’ve heard speak on this topic, to become fully ordained. And I clearly heard the pain they endured, and lengths they’ve gone, to achieve full ordination.

2600 years have passed since the Buddha’s awakening; an unimaginable amount of time to this mind. We in the community of present day women have a commonality with the women of that age who were the first who aspired ordination. Namely, resistance to the fulfillment of our human potential, which all of us have experienced in latent and manifest ways throughout our lifetimes inhabiting this female form.

There always opportunities to support the women of Aloka Vihara and Aranya Bodhi. I've made a commitment to do the small piece that I can and am grateful for their acceptance of my service.

In case you’re interested in more information or want to offer dana I put the links to their websites on the side bar of my blog.

Unwinding This Life – Part 2

“Accounts and Appointments”

I spoke last time about letting go of the tangible things; furniture, possessions. Today I’m speaking about letting go of some other ties that bind; the practical aspects of living a mainstream American existence. Specifically I’m speaking of the “accounts and appointments” phase of the process. Managing these myriad accounts and preparatory appointments is another facet of what has turned out to be a fairly complex logistical puzzle.

We enter this mainstream life slowly, account by account... A checking account here, a savings account there, here-a-credit-card, there-some-AAA-coverage, etc. etc. I never thought much about the corporate tentacles and tendrils that bound me to this life until going through the process of unfastening each one. 

In order to keep it all straight I created 2 lists. The first list consisted of accounts to cancel once I entered the homeless life (and by “homeless life” I mean the happy, voluntary, version where homeless life = freedom + opportunity... I am not implying the pejorative; the poor, lost souls I see on the streets of SF every day). 

The second list consisted of address changes. Even though I’m disengaging I realize that I am not going off the proverbial grid, so there are numerous accounts that must be active while I’m on the journey. Things like health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bill and financial accounts all need to have a contact for me.

As I've said before, by middle class American standards I don't have that much; “only” 2 credit cards, no mortgage, no car payments... but the sheer number of accounts that had to be managed came as a bit of a surprise once I listed them all. 

We are far more integrated into the corporate web then we are often conscious of. Even Occupy Oakland, with their righteous 99% fury, opened a bank account at Wells Fargo after they received a $20,000 donation from Occupy Wall Street.

This mind is almost equally inclined toward both the spiritual AND the practical; both of these aspects must be tended to, accommodated.

On the one hand, this is a completely faith based spiritual journey. On the other, mind demands that certain practicalities be satisfied prior to embarking. This includes ensuring, to the degree that I have control, optimal physical health. This (partially) entails utilizing my health, dental and vision insurance to maximum benefit while I still have it.

So, a flurry of appointments has ensued over the past 4 months. Routine physical, mammogram, blood tests, pap smear, inoculations for overseas travel (don’t let them tell you there are no side effects to the Typhoid vaccine), teeth cleaning, old fillings replaced, eye exam, new glasses. Phew...

Since you know me, you probably know I am NOT a western medicine fan. Part of mind thought it an unnecessary waste of energy and a bit silly to test everything. And yet, it seemed wise to make the energy for all of this. And it did require quite a bit of time, energy and a modicum of out of pocket expenses - <shaking fist in the air> - damn you high deductible!

The beauty part? I’m in great shape! At 48 years old, and after walking uphill for .9 mile, my blood pressure was 110/62. Thank you meditation, thank you Bhakti Flow, thank you vegetarian diet.

Ultimately, it provides mind great relief to have substantiated what was already known intuitively. I’m in the perfect state of physical (and mental and spiritual) health to go on this journey. 

I am still young enough and strong enough to be of service to all the communities I visit, young enough and strong enough to live in a tent in a forest for a few months, young enough and strong enough to carry nothing but what fits in a 2/3 size backpack while I explore the Buddhist life in SE Asia.

How blessed I am…

Unwinding This Life – Part 1

"Tangible Things"

The decision to go forth was a process, and a story for another time perhaps. The actual implementation of the decision, the “unwinding” as mind calls it, has been an experience in itself. And in this context I'm not speaking of the mental and spiritual preparation that has ensued; I'm speaking of the sheer logistics of stepping away from the mainstream life of job, apartment, health insurance...

By middle class American standards I don't own very much; having spent the last few weeks letting go of the tangible (and intangible) things of this life, my own perspective says otherwise.

How does one decide what to keep and what to discard? How does one know what is truly important, which are the things that are really of value in this life?

When the decision first arose in mind it was framed as a gift from myself to myself of 1-2 years. The gift of time. The gift of full time practice. The gift of a time-out from the hamster wheel of the working world. In that scenario I would put all of my belongings (1 one bedroom apartment full of nice, new furniture) in storage. A neat, orderly life to be picked up where I left off.

And then, fairly quickly, it became clear that the aspiration is not for 1-2 years. The aspiration is for a new life. A new way of residing, in this world, but outside of it.

I've come to accept that if/when I need to reenter the workforce to earn money again I won't be walking back into a one bedroom apartment all for myself and a job with a fancy title (C-Level... ego liked that for a minute or two). I will be poor (in money - but rich in spirit). I will be finding a room in someone else's furnished apartment.

So let go the furniture... easy decision... feels right. Give what I can to friends who can use it, try to sell what I can to earn some money for the new life. But that's really just the beginning...

Most of us have so many things. Things we carry around from apartment to apartment. From year to year. From past self to future self without even thinking much about it.

I spent the better part of an entire weekend going though old “important” papers. Items that I had carried around for years. In some cases 25 years! So incredibly freeing to let it all go.

So blessed to live a mindful life. Because of this mindfulness practice “I” was present when emotion arose. And, “I” was present when emotion DIDN'T arise. Such a valuable experience to have awareness of the items which did NOT have emotion arise with their demise.

Such a powerful teaching about anicca (impermanence) that weekend was.

Sure, I wouldn't have expected much emotional residue from the 15 year old tax returns and bank statements. The surprise came in seeing that the old love letters had lost their power, lost their impact; that the performance reviews of jobs where I had worked so hard, tried so hard, gave so much of my time and energy meant nothing.

I had so much emotion when I was living these past experiences. Thought the relationships would last forever. Thought the work was imperative.

And it has all passed away of it's own accord.

What a release to be free of all of that. It wasn't simply paper that was shredded that weekend; it was loosening a series of tethers, releasing an anchor chaining this mind to the past.

Really... Don't Worry Bertie!

I am a 48 year old American Buddhist woman who has been studying and practicing for 11 years. It has become clear that this self must create the circumstances to enable the furtherance of my spiritual development to be my full time pursuit. I have embarked on a spiritual journey which is a leap of faith and an affirmation of my confidence in the Dharma.

In the material sense, this means leaving my job and going forth into homelessness to visit retreat centers and communities to perform extended periods of practice and service.

It is the intention for the journey to last as long as material resources and grace allow. Winter through early fall of 2012 will be spent practicing here in the U.S. and then this self will go to Thailand in November of 2012 for an extended period of study and practice.

I am incredibly fortunate and deeply grateful that the circumstances of this life allow for this journey, this choice. AND it is not enough for this journey to be of benefit to myself alone. Of equal importance to the spiritual development of this self is the ability to use this journey for the benefit of others; to be of service is an imperative.

It is crystal clear that this self is on the right track. I have no doubts, have total faith that this is the right course.

Intuition knows there *is* something out there to be found by this soul. Something so much bigger than this. One would call it the Divine I think… I don’t know what it is, don’t want or need to know, but have such a strong intuition that there is something that will be discovered/tapped into.

And know that in order for that to spring forth I must put this self in the right set of causes and conditions. So off “I” go to explore for awhile, to “poke around” as minds calls it.

So blessed to have this opportunity!

Don't worry Bertie, it's already miraculous...