I’ve been in Nepal for almost 3 months now, and have learned
more about Nepali life and culture in the last 2 1/2 weeks here at
Budhanilkantha Ashram in Kathmandu then I had in the previous 2 months.
My life here is very simple. I practice, I tend to the needs
of the body; there are no demands or external responsibilities. Mind continues
to adjust to the reality that this is all that’s happening for some time to
come; that the majority of the waking hours will be spent either practicing
meditation, pranayama or asana and for excitement listening to a Dhamma talk or
reading about Yoga (the broader philosophy not the asanas).
The ashram is proving to be the perfect container for my
practice; I feel very well cared for here. I knew intuitively when I was serving
as a steward at the Vihara and Aranya Bodhi that I wanted to ensure that all
who visited felt welcome and supported, to feel that those environments were a
refugee. Now that I am on the receiving end I realize anew just what a gift it
is to be looked after in this way; a beneficial motivation to take back to the
Vihara next spring.
The nice counterbalance to all of the solitary practice is
the time I spend with Shankar (my now friend and taxi driver who introduced me
to Swamiji, his guru) and Gunjan Bramachari (the Hindu monk who takes care of
the ashram and serves as the principal of the ashram school).
Gunjan and I have dinner together every night in the kitchen
that I wrote about in the last entry. Even when he has eaten at the Hindu
temple close by, he still prepares my meal and joins me for conversation. It is
very sweet to observe how we get more comfortable and at ease together with
each meal. We laugh deeply and frequently as we talk about Buddhist and Hindu
beliefs, life in Nepal and the US and our own paths. I was touched yesterday
when he asked by what means we would keep in contact after I’ve left the
ashram.
Our conversations on Nepali culture are wide ranging, fueled
by my curiosity. I learned that fully 20% of working age Nepali men go to other
countries to earn money to send home. There are agencies that place men in
Saudi Arabia and Malaysia. The work is hard and very dangerous; I’m told that
at least one dead Nepali man arrives at Tribhuvan airport every day.
Most marriages in Nepal are arranged and divorce is not part
of the culture, although men do leave their wives to live with another woman.
It appears not uncommon for women to be stuck in abusive situations here and
they simply have no recourse.
I believe these cultural norms are destined to change due to
a mass migration from the villages to Kathmandu, Nepal’s population having
tripled in the last 30 years and an evident Western influence.
Given these social conventions, I asked Gunjan about the
role romantic love plays in this culture. As we all know, romantic love is a
prevalent theme in the West. His reply was a completely confused look, he just
didn’t understand what I was asking, had no frame of reference.
I suspect I had
the same look when he asked me what the English word was for a man who charms a
monkey and brings it to the market. We don’t have monkeys in our markets,
trained or otherwise…
Showing Gunjan the video I took of Aranya Bodhi Forest
Hermitage was a reality check; the concept “off-the-grid” feels ludicrous here.
Life at AB to a Westerner is hard. Watching the video with a Nepali who grew up
in a village it seemed relatively luxurious to me; it was the full sized
refrigerator that stood out most.
No
electricity or running water in the kutis, living in a tent (Nepalis don’t use
tents), cold shower, washing clothes by hand… so what? That’s just village life
(or better).
Meeting Shankar’s family has also given me an opportunity to
learn about Nepali culture. I think very highly of Shankar, he is both a truly
dedicated yogi and a good family man.
It is clear that he is treating his wife
well and teaching his children so that they will grow up to be strong and
spiritual adults. I was curious about his family but hadn’t asked because I
didn’t want to be inadvertently rude by being too direct.
A few weeks ago he brought his wife, daughter (12), son (8),
sister, nephew and sister-in-law to the ashram to meet me. His wife, who cooks
the best Nepali food I’ve had (along with Swamijii’s) had prepared dinner and
brought it to the ashram to serve to myself and Gunjan.
I was honored to meet them,
it was obvious that considerable effort was made to make this occur. A ride in
Shankar’s small taxi with seven people, dinner and miscellaneous things needed
to spend the night was an effort in itself. What surprised me was that Shankar
made it clear that he thought it was their honor to meet me.
This entry is not quite complete but I’m leaving for the
airport in a few minutes so will end here for now. Perhaps more on my time in
Nepal in a subsequent entry…
