Garden Of Beautiful Dhamma – Part 1

As the final stop on our “Thailand Bhikkhuni Tour 2013” Ayya and I are spending 3 nights at Suansiridham monastery in Samut Sakon. It’s hard to believe that we are only an hour drive from Bangkok (when the notorious traffic has subsided).

The monastery is very small; the current residents are a Bhikkhuni, 2 Samineri and a lay woman who, I am not exaggerating, is the butchest woman I have EVER met. She confuses even me, truly I keep thinking she’s a man but Ayya assured me that she is a woman. The best part was the big pink sunglasses she wore on our outing today.

The monastery is in the middle of a few hundred acres of farmland, actually orchards, and has been owned for generations by the family of the Bhikkhuni who runs this monastery. I’m told her family is very wealthy and famous in this area;  what comes to mind upon hearing this from one  of the samineri (who is too new to understand that one should not speak of these things when in robes) is a deep respect for this bhikkhuni’s choice. 

She is someone who could have any tangible thing in the world, could live in luxury anywhere in the world. But I assume that she sees the truth, that none of that is the pathway to liberation and freedom. She must see that money cannot buy happiness,that things are not worth spending all of one’s energy on.

Instead of living in a big house she chooses to live in a tiny kuti with no furniture, in a monastery with very modest accommodations. Although she could eat the best food in the world, her only food is the alms provided every morning.

At this point I’ve gone on pindapata (alms round) at 5 different monasteries including the Vihara in SF. Pindapata here is the most unusual; it is done both by boat and on foot.  

There is a large canal that runs into the Chao Phraya river (a major river that flows through Bangkok), fed by a network of small canals. There are many houses and markets along the canal; private boats and water taxis (we took one today – fun!)  provide transportation. Concrete pathways line the canal on both sides and run between the houses and the water; the pathways have a steep incline and decline each time one of the little canals meet the big canal so that boats can pass under the archway to transverse between the 2.

This morning the Bhikkhuni, with the butch laywoman rowing, went down one side of the canal while Ayya, one of the samineri and me collected alms by foot on the other. I walked along the canal at dawn this morning passing houses, barking dogs protecting their territory and people brushing their teeth and bathing outside. It occurred to mind that I had no frame of reference, that there was just no way for me to explain to you what I was seeing.

An interesting interaction happened twice here that has not occurred in other parts of Thailand; once on pindapata this morning and once yesterday when we went for a walk on the land and met some neighbors.  Both times an old woman smiled at me and took hold of my forearm and just held it for a minute. I think that they had not much exposure to many white farang; as has been the case everywhere except Bangkok, Ayya and I are the only farang here.

The land is amazingly beautiful as I said; the monastery is surrounded by Thai style fruit orchards. The monastery is set back from the big canal and is a much needed return to nature for me. The last monastery we visited was literally on the highway that runs all the way to Singapore; the traffic noise was LOUD and constant, the smog intense (as it is in Bangkok where I spent the first 6 days of this trip).

To my city eyes the abundance of food that grows on the trees is staggering.

We are surrounded by row after row of coconut palms (a new breed that grows relatively close to the ground to make the coconut easier to harvest), banana trees (whose big purple flowers when cooked taste, look and have a consistency surprisingly similar to artichoke leaves), papaya trees, mango trees, lemon trees (which I think are limes – now I finally understand why they always bring me lime in Thai restaurants when I ask for lemons!)  and guava, each fruit individually hand wrapped so the birds won’t  eat them before they are ready for harvest.  (Did you catch that Greg? Hand wrapped!)

There are also fruits and vegetables on the trees that I have never seen before and can’t name.  Rectangular shaped beans with crinkly edges, very small green fruit that’s a bit bitter and tapioca root. 

Thai people are incredibly kind and generous. When we met the neighbors yesterday the bhikkhuni told them I’d never tried the little green fruit growing on the tree in front of their house. The woman immediately picked a whole bunch off the tree and gave them to me to taste. The man then dug up a huge tapioca root so Ayya and I could see it AND they cooked it overnight to offer on pindapata this morning so we could try it (pretty good, it’s a very starchy tuber).

Child-Like Musings

Although I have been in Thailand only a weeks it already feels like I've been gone a while. Realized that's because when absolutely everything is a new experience the days are full and the time seems to pass more slowly.

Perhaps that's why the days and months seem elongated when we're children. Each day is so full of learning and new-ness that each is long. Mind’s tendency it to gloss over the familiar. We see things as snapshots without really looking at the full picture; when we are in familiar surroundings we are not present with all of the experiences taking place in the here and now.

My first few weeks here in Thailand I often feel like a child, in a good way. I have to learn how to eat, how to dress, how to sit (when I was at Wat Nong Pah Pong). I’m full of questions and Ayya is a kind and patient teacher.

We walk along beautiful village roads and she explains to me what any local adult would know.  “This is a banana tree. See the big purple flower on the end of the stalk? You can eat that”. “This is a papaya tree, that one is beetle nut”. Walking one day I saw some animals, “No Geri, that’s cow. The ones over there are the water buffalo!”

On important bits of language she teaches me “suka” means toilet, “talaad” means market, “sui” means beautiful. On culture she explains, tuck your shirt out not in; it’s polite to sit this way not that way.

It’s interesting living this way, and peaceful, because I’m not straining against the experience of being an occasional child. Unlike in my former worldly life I don’t need to know everything, really I don’t need to know anything and it’s ok to just learn as each new situation arises.

Yesterday morning and this morning Ayya went on pindapata (almsround) with Ayya Dhammamitta here at Wat Bhikkhuni Patimokkh. Walking through fallow fields behind them in their saffron and maroon robes, the huge red sun just peaking above the horizon, there was a gentleness and grace in their movements.  They approached the villagers waiting to offer alms slowly, respectfully, with a softness to their energy.

After each offering was made the Ayyas offered a prayer and sometimes a small smile.  Then I, keeping a bit of respectful distance between myself and the Ayyas, would pass each person and look at each with genuine gratitude. Gratitude for starting their day AND mine with a tangible display of dana (generosity).  Gratitude for giving me food to fuel the body this day.

As I pass each person I offer a slight bow of my head and my own big smile; you all know how I smile these days, you can tell I mean it. Most often they smile brightly back at me and I think we all feel good in that early morning moment.

We approached a family waiting to offer alms this morning; a little boy and girl, mother and father, old grandmother. As we approached from one direction 2 monks approached them from the opposite direction. I saw a marked contrast in the monks manner as opposed to what I had observed with the Ayyas.

A fat monk in front and a small monk behind trundled up to the family briskly, with purpose in their step. They received the offerings barely looking at the family and then they kept walking without even offering them a prayer.  I sensed entitlement and expectation; what an opportunity lost it seems.

Let me pause here to underscore that I have tremendous respect for ALL monastics, monks and nuns. Don’t want to leave the impression through this and my other blog post (“What Must Change”) that I disrespect the monks here. I am just seeing an entrenched culture through western, feminist eyes and this is the lens that is recording these experiences.

Witnessing this I realized again why it is so vital to have the feminine integrated into Buddhist life and culture. Nuns bring sweetness and gentleness to their activities. Traits that, although all men need, many are not conditioned to be able to provide.

What Must Change

One of the things that I was told, but didn’t really understand, was how patriarchal the monasteries and Buddhist culture in general in Thailand is. I knew that there were no Bhikkhunis in Thailand, knew it had been against civil law until 2006 to ordain a Bhikkhuni. I also knew that the vast majority of nuns here were Mae Chee; treated as inferior to the (male) monks and essentially prevented from manifesting the full expression of their spiritual aspirations. 

Having seen this dynamic manifest at Wat Nong Pah Pong is eye opening. There are both subtle ways in which it is made clear that women are NOT equal to men and there are ways in which it is made quite obvious.

There is one meal offered each day here. All the food is laid out on long tables in an outside covered area and one takes what they need from what has been offered. The room where the Mae Chee  and Upasika eat is separated from this area by shuttered doors. 

Mae Chee  and Upasika prepare and lay out all of the food. When it is time to offer the meal the shuttered doors are closed and all of the monks (in seniority order) file through to take their food for the day. Women and men cannot see each other and the Mae Chee (and after them Upasika) are permitted to take what food the monks leave only after the monks have filed out of the room. This is true even in cases where one has been a nun for 30 years and a monk ordained yesterday.

This is how it is in all monasteries, all offerings are given to the monks and they decide what, if anything, they will leave for the nuns. Because Wat Nong Pah Pong is a very well known monastery there is abundant food, however, this is certainly not the case in all monasteries. It sends a clear message that men are more important, are entitled to take the best of everything (and they do).

Other ways this dynamic plays out includes the way the nuns are taught the Dhamma (less frequently then monks), in the deference the nuns show the monks (the nuns get on their knees and bow down to the monks regardless of who has seniority in years ordained) and on the very rare occasions when the monks come to the nuns sala (temple).

A quick tangent… 

An old Mae Chee passed away the other day and her body was brought to the Mae Chee’s sala. Ayya warned me by saying “there’s a coffin in the sala, there will be a funeral tonight so the evening service will be a bit different”. 

In my incredulity I asked “a coffin? Is there a dead body in it???” There was, but the coffin was closed by the time I arrived for puja. The coffin was then burned the next day but we were at Wat Pah Nanachad for the night – another story – so happily I was not present for the funeral pyre).

The only time that the monks come to Mae Chee’s quarter is on the occasion of a funeral, it was very rare that I was able to observe the dynamic between the genders (the genders are always kept separate). The Mae Chee specially prepare the sala to accommodate the monks when they visit. 

The Mae Chee always sit on the tiled floor, no cushions, no padding, just a bit of sitting cloth. A big throne-like Dhamma seat was placed in the sala along with a few long tables which the senor monks sat on, so that they were raised above the junior monks and all of the Mae Chee. All of the monks sat at the front of the sala, Mae Chee, then Upasika sat in the back.

A few lay people I assumed to be family/friends of the deceased were present. Lay men sat up front, further back from the monks but ahead of the Mae Chee. The lay men proceeded to bring in trays with beverages on them. They served all of the monks, who would take 2 or 3 bottles from the tray. It became clear the nuns would be offered nothing. 

Then one of the Mae Chee came back from the kitchen with a tray of beverages and special sweets, I thought ok, at least the nuns will be offered something by themselves. But no…

The head Mae Chee took some of the beverages put them on a tray and offered this tray to the head monk. He was a man who appeared quite smug throughout the proceedings (one does not need to understand the spoken language to be able to comprehend smug and superior).

So I took all of this in, as I sat properly on the floor in my skirt (no crossed legs, legs folded neatly together at the side), wearing the sash whose purpose is to cover the breasts so no man can see nipples through one’s shirt.

And what occurred to mind, after an admittedly strong flush of anger at the despicable oppression of it all, was compassion for the monks because their behavior is NOT in line with my interpretation of sila (ethics in Buddhism). 

Dana (generosity), Karuna (compassion), Metta (loving kindness) and Upekha (equanimity) are the Brahma Viharas ( the divine abodes); a guideline of how to live a Buddhist life. And while the monks believe these teachings, and I’m sure genuinely make efforts to manifest them in behavior, to this mind they are missing the mark in a vital way.

To this mind dana is to say, “Sisters, we have plenty. Let me take half a bottle and share the rest with you.” Karuna is to say “I am no better than any other living being, let us all sit on the floor side by side.” Equanimity is to be at peace being not-more-than.

 

Witnessing all of this, I gained a deeper understanding, a deeper respect for what Ayya is doing here in Thailand. She’s here as a (very rare here) bhikkhuni NOT as a Mae Chee. She is visible, educated, standing tall in a non-aggressive way.  An example for all to see that there ARE Bhikkhunis in the world, that women are equal to men, that we too have the right to reach our full spiritual potential in this lifetime.

I also gained more clarity about the need to create monasteries like Aloka Vihara, places where women can come to train as monastics, where lay women AND lay men can come together as sangha to learn and grow.

It also occurred to mind that the East has given the West an invaluable gift by sharing the wisdom, the scripture, the methods of the Dhamma. The West can return the gift by integrating it’s culture of gender equality into contemporary Buddhist culture.

It has been said by current Tibetan masters that if Buddhism is to continue to flourish in this world it must thrive in the West. And it is clear that the only way that can happen is to have gender equality. Western women will simply not engage in a practice where we are treated as second class citizens. 

And so, compassion for the monks, for their ignorance and their delusion. And also a wish that what manifests is a circle of shared wisdom and compassion between East and West so that all can be whole in the Dhamma. A circle where women like Ayya occupy the hub of the wheel.