What Must Change

One of the things that I was told, but didn’t really understand, was how patriarchal the monasteries and Buddhist culture in general in Thailand is. I knew that there were no Bhikkhunis in Thailand, knew it had been against civil law until 2006 to ordain a Bhikkhuni. I also knew that the vast majority of nuns here were Mae Chee; treated as inferior to the (male) monks and essentially prevented from manifesting the full expression of their spiritual aspirations. 

Having seen this dynamic manifest at Wat Nong Pah Pong is eye opening. There are both subtle ways in which it is made clear that women are NOT equal to men and there are ways in which it is made quite obvious.

There is one meal offered each day here. All the food is laid out on long tables in an outside covered area and one takes what they need from what has been offered. The room where the Mae Chee  and Upasika eat is separated from this area by shuttered doors. 

Mae Chee  and Upasika prepare and lay out all of the food. When it is time to offer the meal the shuttered doors are closed and all of the monks (in seniority order) file through to take their food for the day. Women and men cannot see each other and the Mae Chee (and after them Upasika) are permitted to take what food the monks leave only after the monks have filed out of the room. This is true even in cases where one has been a nun for 30 years and a monk ordained yesterday.

This is how it is in all monasteries, all offerings are given to the monks and they decide what, if anything, they will leave for the nuns. Because Wat Nong Pah Pong is a very well known monastery there is abundant food, however, this is certainly not the case in all monasteries. It sends a clear message that men are more important, are entitled to take the best of everything (and they do).

Other ways this dynamic plays out includes the way the nuns are taught the Dhamma (less frequently then monks), in the deference the nuns show the monks (the nuns get on their knees and bow down to the monks regardless of who has seniority in years ordained) and on the very rare occasions when the monks come to the nuns sala (temple).

A quick tangent… 

An old Mae Chee passed away the other day and her body was brought to the Mae Chee’s sala. Ayya warned me by saying “there’s a coffin in the sala, there will be a funeral tonight so the evening service will be a bit different”. 

In my incredulity I asked “a coffin? Is there a dead body in it???” There was, but the coffin was closed by the time I arrived for puja. The coffin was then burned the next day but we were at Wat Pah Nanachad for the night – another story – so happily I was not present for the funeral pyre).

The only time that the monks come to Mae Chee’s quarter is on the occasion of a funeral, it was very rare that I was able to observe the dynamic between the genders (the genders are always kept separate). The Mae Chee specially prepare the sala to accommodate the monks when they visit. 

The Mae Chee always sit on the tiled floor, no cushions, no padding, just a bit of sitting cloth. A big throne-like Dhamma seat was placed in the sala along with a few long tables which the senor monks sat on, so that they were raised above the junior monks and all of the Mae Chee. All of the monks sat at the front of the sala, Mae Chee, then Upasika sat in the back.

A few lay people I assumed to be family/friends of the deceased were present. Lay men sat up front, further back from the monks but ahead of the Mae Chee. The lay men proceeded to bring in trays with beverages on them. They served all of the monks, who would take 2 or 3 bottles from the tray. It became clear the nuns would be offered nothing. 

Then one of the Mae Chee came back from the kitchen with a tray of beverages and special sweets, I thought ok, at least the nuns will be offered something by themselves. But no…

The head Mae Chee took some of the beverages put them on a tray and offered this tray to the head monk. He was a man who appeared quite smug throughout the proceedings (one does not need to understand the spoken language to be able to comprehend smug and superior).

So I took all of this in, as I sat properly on the floor in my skirt (no crossed legs, legs folded neatly together at the side), wearing the sash whose purpose is to cover the breasts so no man can see nipples through one’s shirt.

And what occurred to mind, after an admittedly strong flush of anger at the despicable oppression of it all, was compassion for the monks because their behavior is NOT in line with my interpretation of sila (ethics in Buddhism). 

Dana (generosity), Karuna (compassion), Metta (loving kindness) and Upekha (equanimity) are the Brahma Viharas ( the divine abodes); a guideline of how to live a Buddhist life. And while the monks believe these teachings, and I’m sure genuinely make efforts to manifest them in behavior, to this mind they are missing the mark in a vital way.

To this mind dana is to say, “Sisters, we have plenty. Let me take half a bottle and share the rest with you.” Karuna is to say “I am no better than any other living being, let us all sit on the floor side by side.” Equanimity is to be at peace being not-more-than.

 

Witnessing all of this, I gained a deeper understanding, a deeper respect for what Ayya is doing here in Thailand. She’s here as a (very rare here) bhikkhuni NOT as a Mae Chee. She is visible, educated, standing tall in a non-aggressive way.  An example for all to see that there ARE Bhikkhunis in the world, that women are equal to men, that we too have the right to reach our full spiritual potential in this lifetime.

I also gained more clarity about the need to create monasteries like Aloka Vihara, places where women can come to train as monastics, where lay women AND lay men can come together as sangha to learn and grow.

It also occurred to mind that the East has given the West an invaluable gift by sharing the wisdom, the scripture, the methods of the Dhamma. The West can return the gift by integrating it’s culture of gender equality into contemporary Buddhist culture.

It has been said by current Tibetan masters that if Buddhism is to continue to flourish in this world it must thrive in the West. And it is clear that the only way that can happen is to have gender equality. Western women will simply not engage in a practice where we are treated as second class citizens. 

And so, compassion for the monks, for their ignorance and their delusion. And also a wish that what manifests is a circle of shared wisdom and compassion between East and West so that all can be whole in the Dhamma. A circle where women like Ayya occupy the hub of the wheel.